Being in the Flow – Staying in the Holy Instant
Judy Allen
Professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has spent his life studying the experience of “being in the flow.” He describes the state as being “ego-free,” which he further defines as “not worried about the judgments of others.” I would add, also, “not judging oneself.”
Mr. Csikszentmihalyi describes flow as "being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you're using your skills to the utmost."
Here is how Csikszentmihalyi describes how it feels to be “in the flow”:
1. Completely involved, focused, concentrating - with this either due to innate curiosity or as the result of training
2. Sense of ecstasy - of being outside everyday reality
3. Great inner clarity - knowing what needs to be done and how well it is going
4. Knowing the activity is doable - that the skills are adequate, and neither anxious or bored
5. Sense of serenity - no worries about self, feeling of growing beyond the boundaries of ego - afterwards feeling of transcending ego in ways not thought possible
6. Timelessness - thoroughly focused on present, don't notice time passing
7. Intrinsic motivation - whatever produces "flow" becomes its own reward
Being in a blissful state of “flow” is a Holy Instant. The Course implies we get there by being one with our brothers. Many of us, however, find this to be an anxiety-producing endeavor, particularly when our brothers actively resist oneness with us.
What ways have you found lead to the experience of “flow” or of being in a holy instant?
How does the Course’s description of a holy instant differ or expand upon the list above?
The experience of a holy instant is… [The references below are T 1st edition page/2nd edition page-last edition Chapter.Section.Paragraph]
“Everyone has experienced what he would call a sense of being transported beyond himself. This feeling of liberation far exceeds the dream of freedom sometimes hoped for in special relationships. It is a sense of actual escape from limitations. If you will consider what this "transportation" really entails, you will realize that it is a sudden unawareness of the body, and a joining of yourself and something else in which your mind enlarges to encompass it. It becomes part of you, as you unite with it. …You have escaped from fear to peace, asking no questions of reality, but merely accepting it. You have accepted this instead of the body, and have let yourself be one with something beyond it, simply by not letting your mind be limited by it.
This can occur regardless of the physical distance that seems to be between you and what you join; of your respective positions in space; and of your differences in size and seeming quality. Time is not relevant; it can occur with something past, present or anticipated. The "something" can be anything and anywhere; a sound, a sight, a thought, a memory, and even a general idea without specific reference. Yet in every case, you join it without reservation because you love it, and would be with it. And so you rush to meet it, letting your limits melt away, suspending all the "laws" your body obeys and gently setting them aside.” T- 361/387-18.VI.11-13
“There is no violence at all in this escape. The body is not attacked, but simply properly perceived. It does not limit you, merely because you would not have it so. You are not really "lifted out" of it; it cannot contain you. You go where you would be, gaining, not losing, a sense of Self. In these instants of release from physical restrictions, you experience much of what happens in the holy instant; the lifting of the barriers of time and space, the sudden experience of peace and joy, and, above all, the lack of awareness of the body, and of the questioning whether or not all this is possible.
The holy instant is the Holy Spirit's most useful learning device for teaching you love's meaning. For its purpose is to suspend judgment entirely. Judgment always rests on the past, for past experience is the basis on which you judge. Judgment becomes impossible without the past, for without it you do not understand anything. You would make no attempt to judge, because it would be quite apparent to you that you do not understand what anything means.” T-#290/312-15.V.1
Practicing the holy instant…
Start now to practice your little part in separating out the holy instant. You will receive very specific instructions as you go along. (T-#284/306-15.II.6)
The experience of an instant, however compelling it may be, is easily forgotten if you allow time to close over it. It must be kept shining and gracious in your awareness of time, but not concealed within it. The instant remains. But where are you? (T-#340/364-17.V.12)
… In the holy instant guilt holds no attraction, since communication has been restored. And guilt, whose only purpose is to disrupt communication, has no function here. Here there is no concealment, and no private thoughts. The willingness to communicate attracts communication to it, and overcomes loneliness completely. There is complete forgiveness here, for there is no desire to exclude anyone from your completion, in sudden recognition of the value of his part in it… And here it is that you experience yourself as you were created, and as you are. (T-#297/320-15.VII.14)
“I will be still an instant and go home.” Lesson 182
Lessons 361 to 365: “This holy instant would I give to You. Be You in charge. For I would follow You, Certain that Your direction gives me peace.
And if I need a word to help me, He will give it to me. If I need a thought, that will He also give. And if I need but stillness and a tranquil, open mind, these are the gifts I will receive of Him. He is in charge by my request. And He will hear and answer me, because He speaks for God my Father and His holy Son.”
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
We Are Holograms
[Physicist Dr. David Bohm describes] the hologram concept which states that every piece is an exact representation of the whole and can be used to reconstruct the entire hologram. Cloning is a biological example of a hologram: a single cell, its DNA being an exact representation of the whole, can be used to “construct” an entire being.
Dr. Karl Pribram, a renowned brain researcher, has accumulated evidence over a decade that the brain’s deep structure is essentially holographic. Research from many laboratories demonstrates that the brain structures sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch holographically. The information is distributed throughout the system so that each fragment can produce the information of the whole. This could explain why a person having body work, such as a massage, can sometimes “relive” a vivid memory when the therapist presses on a particular spot in the body. Memory is distributed everywhere in the body. What a backup system! And, no wonder we are controlled by the past.
But I digress. What this all really says to me is this: if our DNA is an exact representation of the whole, then each of us is also an exact representation of the Whole, of God, of All That Is. Of Unity. We are all little DNA cells of God, representing God perfectly, and capable of becoming the Whole at any time. We couldn’t use a single sheep cell to clone a whole sheep until someone decided to do it. We can’t use our personal selves to clone God until we decide to do it.
Dr. Karl Pribram, a renowned brain researcher, has accumulated evidence over a decade that the brain’s deep structure is essentially holographic. Research from many laboratories demonstrates that the brain structures sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch holographically. The information is distributed throughout the system so that each fragment can produce the information of the whole. This could explain why a person having body work, such as a massage, can sometimes “relive” a vivid memory when the therapist presses on a particular spot in the body. Memory is distributed everywhere in the body. What a backup system! And, no wonder we are controlled by the past.
But I digress. What this all really says to me is this: if our DNA is an exact representation of the whole, then each of us is also an exact representation of the Whole, of God, of All That Is. Of Unity. We are all little DNA cells of God, representing God perfectly, and capable of becoming the Whole at any time. We couldn’t use a single sheep cell to clone a whole sheep until someone decided to do it. We can’t use our personal selves to clone God until we decide to do it.
The Holy Instant
Being in the Flow – Staying in the Holy Instant
Judy Allen
Professor Mihaly
Mr.
Here is how C sikszentmihalyi describes how it feels to be “in the flow”:
- Sense of ecstasy - of being outside everyday reality
- Great inner clarity - knowing what needs to be done and how well it is going
- Knowing the activity is doable - that the skills are adequate, and neither anxious or bored
- Sense of serenity - no worries about self, feeling of growing beyond the boundaries of ego - afterwards feeling of transcending ego in ways not thought possible
- Timelessness - thoroughly focused on present, don't notice time passing
- Intrinsic motivation - whatever produces "flow" becomes its own reward
Being in a blissful state of “flow” is a Holy Instant. The
What ways have you found lead to the experience of “flow” or of being in a holy instant?
How does the
The experience of a holy instant is… [The references below are T 1st edition page/2nd edition page-last edition Chapter.Section.Paragraph]
“Everyone has experienced what he would call a sense of being transported beyond himself. This feeling of liberation far exceeds the dream of freedom sometimes hoped for in special relationships. It is a sense of actual escape from limitations. If you will consider what this "transportation" really entails, you will realize that it is a sudden unawareness of the body, and a joining of yourself and something else in which your mind enlarges to encompass it. It becomes part of you, as you unite with it. …You have escaped from fear to peace, asking no questions of reality, but merely accepting it. You have accepted this instead of the body, and have let yourself be one with something beyond it, simply by not letting your mind be limited by it.
This can occur regardless of the physical distance that seems to be between you and what you join; of your respective positions in space; and of your differences in size and seeming quality. Time is not relevant; it can occur with something past, present or anticipated. The "something" can be anything and anywhere; a sound, a sight, a thought, a memory, and even a general idea without specific reference. Yet in every case, you join it without reservation because you love it, and would be with it. And so you rush to meet it, letting your limits melt away, suspending all the "laws" your body obeys and gently setting them aside.” T- 361/387-18.VI.11-13
“There is no violence at all in this escape. The body is not attacked, but simply properly perceived. It does not limit you, merely because you would not have it so. You are not really "lifted out" of it; it cannot contain you. You go where you would be, gaining, not losing, a sense of Self. In these instants of release from physical restrictions, you experience much of what happens in the holy instant; the lifting of the barriers of time and space, the sudden experience of peace and joy, and, above all, the lack of awareness of the body, and of the questioning whether or not all this is possible.
The holy instant is the Holy Spirit's most useful learning device for teaching you love's meaning. For its purpose is to suspend judgment entirely. Judgment always rests on the past, for past experience is the basis on which you judge. Judgment becomes impossible without the past, for without it you do not understand anything. You would make no attempt to judge, because it would be quite apparent to you that you do not understand what anything means.” T-#290/312-15.V.1
Practicing the holy instant…
Start now to practice your little part in separating out the holy instant. You will receive very specific instructions as you go along. (T-#284/306-15.II.6)
The experience of an instant, however compelling it may be, is easily forgotten if you allow time to close over it. It must be kept shining and gracious in your awareness of time, but not concealed within it. The instant remains. But where are you? (T-#340/364-17.V.12)
… In the holy instant guilt holds no attraction, since communication has been restored. And guilt, whose only purpose is to disrupt communication, has no function here. Here there is no concealment, and no private thoughts. The willingness to communicate attracts communication to it, and overcomes loneliness completely. There is complete forgiveness here, for there is no desire to exclude anyone from your completion, in sudden recognition of the value of his part in it… And here it is that you experience yourself as you were created, and as you are. (T-#297/320-15.VII.14)
“I will be still an instant and go home.” Lesson 182
Lessons 361 to 365: “This holy instant would I give to You. Be You in charge. For I would follow You,
And if I need a word to help me, He will give it to me. If I need a thought, that will He also give. And if I need but stillness and a tranquil, open mind, these are the gifts I will receive of Him. He is in charge by my request. And He will hear and answer me, because He speaks for God my Father and His holy Son.”
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Something Right
Every Monday I go to the Assisted Living home where my mother lives and is cared for. I read one of the books she wrote to a small group of from 4-10 people, including her. Every week I do a quick review of the story to date, because they will have forgotten, and usually, so have I.
At first, I figured this was a “triple points” thing—I get credit for visiting Mom, double credit for giving her accomplishments some exposure, and triple for entertaining other people.
I thought I was doing it for her. Then I thought I was doing it for the listeners—many of whom can no longer read. Now I know I do it for myself. I love these people. I haven’t missed a Monday since March. I plan the rest of my schedule around Mondays. Lately I take homemade cinnamon rolls for the staff on Mondays. They have the “birthday cupcake rule” in facilities—no homebaked goodies for the residents, but staff is OK. Sometimes I buy bakery (legal) cinnamon rolls and take them to the listeners to eat while I read.
Mom was deciding who she liked and didn’t like based on their disabilities:
“She has Alzheimer’s.” Can’t be friends with her.
“She can’t talk.” Can’t be friendly to her.
“He drools.” “She’s doesn’t mind her manners (same person, has Alzheimer’s). “There’s some guy behind where I sit in the dining room who laughs too loudly. I think they’re telling dirty jokes.”
And so on. I keep explaining to her that everyone who lives there has something wrong with them, or they wouldn’t be there. I don’t point out that also applies to her. It hurts my heart to hear her judge people, because when she was a spiritual teacher, her main teachings had to do with forgiveness and giving up judgment.
Reading to the assembled listeners, and talking with them between paragraphs, I have learned some fascinating things. One lady in a wheelchair has transcribed children’s book into Braille, since 1964! And she still does it! On a computer!
Genevieve can’t speak, has obviously had a stroke, and the words she does manage to get out don’t always match the thought she’s trying to express, to her great frustration.
The woman in a wheelchair, her legs useless and painful, danced with the San Francisco Opera Ballet for many years.
Art hiked every week with his hiking group of twenty members who now visit him every month. He is in a wheelchair. He wears shorts all the time. The muscles in his legs are atrophied and concave. But his eyes sparkle and he barks a loud, delighted laugh at funny things in the stories. The “bad boy” character in one book was named Art, which tickles him. He loves Mom’s stories, and never misses a Monday.
My mother, was a writer, bookkeeper and longtime spiritual teacher. She has lost the ability to process anything linear. Numbers, time, date, day, what comes next.
One day after reading, I walked Mom back to her room. We passed Genevieve at the door of her own room, struggling to get her key in the lock. I offered to help her, and she invited us in. She had something she wanted to show us. We had talked that day about places people had traveled to in their lives—the states, Europe, Africa, India. Genevieve had struggled to say that she had been in Europe, that her daughters were in the foreign service. Her room was filled with beautiful antiques and souvenirs of, clearly, many foreign travels. Genevieve beckoned us to the map of the world, on the wall over her couch. There were probably a hundred colored pushpins stuck in various locations—most of the states including Alaska and Hawaii, many countries in Europe, several in Africa, India, China, Japan, the Middle East, Australia, and some obscure locations I couldn’t make out. On the wall were two framed photos: one of herself as a lovely young woman, a redhead, model-perfect. And the other, one of her daughters with President Obama.
Then Genevieve told us, with many gestures and pointing and struggling to find the right words, that she had all the memories, pictures, stories, and the correct words for things in her head. But she could no longer get them to come out of her mouth correctly.
Mom, who has short-term memory loss and trouble finding the right words or names for things, was silent.
On the way back to her room, Mom said that she had no idea Genevieve had anything going on in her head, she had seemed so…stupid. After a reflective pause, she said, “Thank you for taking me into her room. I like her now.”
We talked again about how everyone there has something wrong with them. Then I realized: “Everyone here has something right about them.” We agreed to start looking for what was right about people who live there.
The other day Mom turned around during lunch and discovered that the man she doesn't like because he laughs too loudly at the table behind her is…Art.
At first, I figured this was a “triple points” thing—I get credit for visiting Mom, double credit for giving her accomplishments some exposure, and triple for entertaining other people.
I thought I was doing it for her. Then I thought I was doing it for the listeners—many of whom can no longer read. Now I know I do it for myself. I love these people. I haven’t missed a Monday since March. I plan the rest of my schedule around Mondays. Lately I take homemade cinnamon rolls for the staff on Mondays. They have the “birthday cupcake rule” in facilities—no homebaked goodies for the residents, but staff is OK. Sometimes I buy bakery (legal) cinnamon rolls and take them to the listeners to eat while I read.
Mom was deciding who she liked and didn’t like based on their disabilities:
“She has Alzheimer’s.” Can’t be friends with her.
“She can’t talk.” Can’t be friendly to her.
“He drools.” “She’s doesn’t mind her manners (same person, has Alzheimer’s). “There’s some guy behind where I sit in the dining room who laughs too loudly. I think they’re telling dirty jokes.”
And so on. I keep explaining to her that everyone who lives there has something wrong with them, or they wouldn’t be there. I don’t point out that also applies to her. It hurts my heart to hear her judge people, because when she was a spiritual teacher, her main teachings had to do with forgiveness and giving up judgment.
Reading to the assembled listeners, and talking with them between paragraphs, I have learned some fascinating things. One lady in a wheelchair has transcribed children’s book into Braille, since 1964! And she still does it! On a computer!
Genevieve can’t speak, has obviously had a stroke, and the words she does manage to get out don’t always match the thought she’s trying to express, to her great frustration.
The woman in a wheelchair, her legs useless and painful, danced with the San Francisco Opera Ballet for many years.
Art hiked every week with his hiking group of twenty members who now visit him every month. He is in a wheelchair. He wears shorts all the time. The muscles in his legs are atrophied and concave. But his eyes sparkle and he barks a loud, delighted laugh at funny things in the stories. The “bad boy” character in one book was named Art, which tickles him. He loves Mom’s stories, and never misses a Monday.
My mother, was a writer, bookkeeper and longtime spiritual teacher. She has lost the ability to process anything linear. Numbers, time, date, day, what comes next.
One day after reading, I walked Mom back to her room. We passed Genevieve at the door of her own room, struggling to get her key in the lock. I offered to help her, and she invited us in. She had something she wanted to show us. We had talked that day about places people had traveled to in their lives—the states, Europe, Africa, India. Genevieve had struggled to say that she had been in Europe, that her daughters were in the foreign service. Her room was filled with beautiful antiques and souvenirs of, clearly, many foreign travels. Genevieve beckoned us to the map of the world, on the wall over her couch. There were probably a hundred colored pushpins stuck in various locations—most of the states including Alaska and Hawaii, many countries in Europe, several in Africa, India, China, Japan, the Middle East, Australia, and some obscure locations I couldn’t make out. On the wall were two framed photos: one of herself as a lovely young woman, a redhead, model-perfect. And the other, one of her daughters with President Obama.
Then Genevieve told us, with many gestures and pointing and struggling to find the right words, that she had all the memories, pictures, stories, and the correct words for things in her head. But she could no longer get them to come out of her mouth correctly.
Mom, who has short-term memory loss and trouble finding the right words or names for things, was silent.
On the way back to her room, Mom said that she had no idea Genevieve had anything going on in her head, she had seemed so…stupid. After a reflective pause, she said, “Thank you for taking me into her room. I like her now.”
We talked again about how everyone there has something wrong with them. Then I realized: “Everyone here has something right about them.” We agreed to start looking for what was right about people who live there.
The other day Mom turned around during lunch and discovered that the man she doesn't like because he laughs too loudly at the table behind her is…Art.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Ho'oponopono
This is a process I learned about on a sacred-site pilgrimage to the Big Island with native Hawaiians in 1993. It blew my mind. And I've tried it--I know it "works."
After listening to Republicans denounce "empathy" ad nauseum lately, I'm reminded of the Course in Miracles definition: "True empathy does not join in suffering." This practice of ho'oponopono does not join in suffering. It acknowledges suffering and forgives oneself for judging it; it provides comfort in whatever form it's asked for. And works to heal one's own mind about the sufferer. (I hasten to add: This does not in any way mean to take responsibility to make the sufferer change in any way, to suffer less, to get well, to not die...we can't know what that person's life path might require of her.)
The Republican definition would decry empathy as soft-headed. Maybe a "soft head" is what we need nowadays--less judgment, remembering we don't really know what anything means.
A recent poll revealed the following, when asked Do you think empathy is an important characteristic for a Supreme Court Justice to possess or not?
Yes No
18-29 63 17
30-44 47 34
45-59 55 26
60+ 46 35
White 41 39
Black 81 4
Latino 79 4
Other 79 5
Men 48 34
Women 56 24
Dem 73 12
GOP 18 56
Ind 54 28
There's a reason the Republicans are sinking fast.
Now I have to heal my mind about that remark. Sigh.
Judy
If you want to solve a problem, no matter what kind of problem, work on yourself.
—Ihaleakala Hew Len
100% Responsibility and the Promise of a Hot Fudge Sundae
An Interview with Ihaleakala Hew Len
By Cat Saunders
How do you thank someone who has helped to set you free? How do you thank a man whose gentle spirit and zinger statements have forever altered the course of your life? Ihaleakala Hew Len is such a man for me. Like a soul brother who shows up unexpectedly in an hour of need, Ihaleakala came into my life in March of 1985, during a time of massive change for me. I met him during a training called "Self I-Dentity Through Ho'oponopono," which he facilitated along with the late Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona, a native Hawaiian kahuna ("keeper of the secret").
For me, Ihaleakala and Morrnah are part of the rhythm of life. Though I love them both dearly, I don't really dwell on thoughts of them as people, yet their influence is always there for me, beating a steady pulse like African drums in the night. Recently, I had the honor of being asked to interview Ihaleakala by The Foundation of I, Inc. (Freedom of the Cosmos), an organization founded by Morrnah. It was an even greater honor to learn that he would be coming from his home in Hawaii to meet with me personally.
Dr. Ihaleakala S. Hew Len is the foundation's president and administrator. Together with Morrnah, Ihaleakala has worked with thousands of people over the years, including groups at the United Nations, UNESCO (United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization), International Human Unity Conference on World Peace, World Peace Conference, Traditional Indian Medicine Conference, Healers for Peace in Europe, and the Hawaii State Teachers Association. He also has extensive experience working with developmentally disabled people and with the criminally mentally ill and their families. In all his work as an educator, the Ho'oponopono process supports and permeates every breath of his efforts.
Simply put, Ho'oponopono means, "to make right," or "to rectify an error." According to the ancient Hawaiians, error arises from thoughts that are tainted by painful memories from the past. Ho'oponopono offers a way to release the energy of these painful thoughts, or errors, which cause imbalance and disease.
Along with the updated Ho'oponopono process, Morrnah was guided to include the three parts of the self, which are the key to Self I-Dentity. These three parts — which exist in every molecule of reality — are called the Unihipili (child/subconscious), the Uhane (mother/conscious), and the Aumakua (father/superconscious). When this "inner family" is in alignment, a person is in rhythm with the Divinity. With this balance, life begins to flow. Thus, Ho'oponopono helps restore balance in the individual first, and then in all of creation.
By introducing me to this three-part system, along with the most powerful forgiveness process I know (Ho'oponopono), Ihaleakala and Morrnah taught me this: the best way to bring healing to every part of my life — and to the entire universe — is to take 100% responsibility and work on myself. In addition, they taught the simple wisdom of total self-care. As Ihaleakala said in a thank-you note after our interview: "You take good care of yourself. If you do, all will be beneficiaries."
Once, Ihaleakala left for an entire afternoon in the middle of a training I was taking, because his Unihipili (child/subconscious) told him to go to his hotel and take a long nap. Of course, he was responsible about leaving, and Morrnah was there to teach. Even still, his exit made a lasting impression on me. For someone like me, raised in a family and culture that admonished me to put others first, Ihaleakala's actions astounded and delighted me. He got his nap, and I got an unforgettable lesson in self-care.
Cat: Ihaleakala, when I met you in 1985, I'd just started private practice after working as a counselor in agencies for four years. I remember you said, "All therapy is a form of manipulation." I thought, "Jeez! What am I supposed to do now?" I knew you were right, so I almost quit! Obviously, I didn't, but that statement completely changed the way I work with people.
Ihaleakala: Manipulation happens when I (as a therapist) come from the idea that you are ill and I am going to work on you. On the other hand, it's not manipulation if I realize that you are coming to me to give me a chance to look at what's going on in me. There's a big difference.
If therapy is about your belief that you're there to save the other person, heal the other person, or direct the other person, then the information you bring will come out of the intellect, the conscious mind. But the intellect has no real understanding of problems and how to approach them. The intellect is so picayunish is its way of solving problems! It doesn't realize that when a problem is solved by transmutation — by using Ho'oponopono or related processes — then the problem and everything related to it is solved, even at microscopic levels and back to the beginning of time.
So first of all, I think the most important question to ask is, "What is a problem?" If you ask people this, there's no clarity. Because there's no clarity, they make up some way of solving the problem…
Cat: … as if the problem is "out there."
Ihaleakala: Yes. For example, the other day I got a call from the daughter of a woman who is 92. She said, "My mother's had these severe hip pains for several weeks." While she's talking to me, I'm asking this question of the Divinity, "What is going on in me that I have caused that woman's pain?" And then I ask, "How is it that I can rectify that problem within me?" The answers to these questions come, and I do whatever I'm told.
Maybe a week later the woman calls me and says, "My mother's feeling better now!" This doesn't mean the problem won't recur, because there are often multiple causes for what appears to be the same problem.
Cat: I have a lot of recurring illness and chronic pain. I work with it all the time, using Ho'oponopono and other clearing processes to make amends for all the pain I've caused since the beginning of time.
Ihaleakala: Yes. The idea being that people like us are in the healing professions because we have caused a lot of pain.
Cat: Big time!
Ihaleakala: How wonderful to know that, and to have people pay us for having caused them their problems!
I said this to a woman in New York, and she said, "God, if only they knew!" But you see, nobody knows. Psychologists, psychiatrists, they keep thinking that they're there to help heal the other person.
So if someone like you comes to me, I say to the Divinity, "Please, whatever is going on in me that I have caused this pain in Cat, tell me how I can rectify it." And I will apply whatever information I'm given indefinitely, until your pain is gone or until you ask me to stop. It's not so much the effect that is important as the getting to the problem. That's the key.
Cat: You don't focus on the outcome, because we're not in charge of that.
Ihaleakala: Right. We can only petition.
Cat: We also don't know when a particular pain or illness will shift.
Ihaleakala: Yes. Say a woman has been taking an herb that was suggested for her, and it's not working. Again, the question is "What's going on in me that this woman is experiencing this herb not working for her?" I would work on that. I would keep cleaning, keep my mouth closed, and allow the process of transmutation to take place. As soon as you engage the intellect, the process stops. The thing to remember when some kind of healing doesn't seem to be working is this: there may be multiple errors — multiple problems or painful memories that are causing the pain. We know nothing! Only the Divinity knows what's really going on.
I gave a presentation out in Dallas last month, and I spoke with this woman, a Reiki master. I said, "Let me ask you a question. When somebody comes to you with a problem, where is that problem?" She looked puzzled when I said, "You're the one who caused the problem, so your client is going to pay you to heal your problem!" Nobody gets that.
Cat: 100% responsibility.
Ihaleakala: 100% knowing that you're the cause of the problem. 100% knowing that you have the responsibility, then, to rectify the error. Can you imagine if we all knew we are 100% responsible?
I made a deal with myself ten years ago that I would treat myself to a hot fudge sundae — so huge it would make me sick — if I could get through the day without having some judgment of someone. I've never been able to do it! I notice I catch myself more often, but I never get through a day.
So how do I get that across to people — that we are each 100% responsible for problems? If you want to solve a problem, no matter what kind of problem, work on yourself. If the problem is with another person, for example, just ask yourself, "What's going on in me that's causing this person to bug me?" People only show up in your life to bug you! If you know that, you can elevate any situation, and you can release there. It's simple: "I'm sorry for whatever's going on. Please forgive me."
Cat: You don't have to actually say that out loud to them, and you don't even have to understand the problem.
Ihaleakala: That's the beauty of this. You don't have to understand. It's like the Internet. You don't understand all this! You just go to the Divinity and you say, "Can we download?" and the Divinity downloads, and then you get the necessary information. But because we don't know who we are, we never download direct from the Light. We go outside.
I remember Morrnah used to say, "It's an inside job." If you want to be successful, it's an inside job. Work on yourself!
Cat: I know that 100% responsibility is the only thing that works, but I used to struggle with this stuff, because I'm an overly responsible caretaker type. When I heard you talking about 100% responsibility not just for myself, but for every situation and problem, I thought, "Whoa! This is crazy! I don't need anybody telling me to be even more responsible!" Yet the more I thought about it, the more I realized that there's a big difference between overly responsible caretaking, versus totally responsible self-care. One is about being a good little girl, and the other is about getting free.
I remember you talking about the years when you were a staff psychologist at Hawaii State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. You said that when you started working there, the ward for criminals was full of violence, and when you left four years later, there was none.
Ihaleakala: Basically, I took 100% responsibility. I just worked on myself.
Cat: You said that when you worked with the inmates, they wouldn't even be there with you.
Ihaleakala: Right. I would only go into the building to check the results. If they still looked depressed, then I'd work on myself some more.
Cat: Would you tell a story about using Ho'oponopono for so-called inanimate objects?
Ihaleakala: I was in an auditorium once getting ready to do a lecture, and I was talking to the chairs. I asked, "Is there anybody I've missed? Does anyone have a problem that I need to take care of?" One of the chairs said, "You know, there was a guy sitting on me today during a previous seminar who had financial problems, and now I just feel dead!" So I cleaned with that problem, and I could just see the chair straightening up. Then I heard, "Okay! I'm ready to handle the next guy!"
What I actually try to do is teach the room. I say to the room and everything in it, "Do you want to learn how to do Ho'oponopono? After all, I'm going to leave soon. Wouldn't it be nice if you could do this work for yourselves? Some say yes, some say no, and some say, "I'm too tired!"
Then I ask the Divinity, "If they say they would like to learn, how can I help them learn?" Most of the time, I get this: "Leave the blue book (Self I-Dentity Through Ho'oponopono) with them." So I just take the blue book out and leave it on one of the chairs or on a table while I'm talking. We don't give tables enough credit for being quiet and aware of what is going on!
Ho'oponopono is really very simple. For the ancient Hawaiians, all problems begin as thought. But having a thought is not the problem. So what's the problem? The problem is that all our thoughts are imbued with painful memories, memories of persons, places, or things.
The intellect working alone can't solve these problems, because the intellect only manages. Managing things is no way to solve problems. You want to let them go! When you do Ho'oponopono, what happens is that the Divinity takes the painful thought and neutralizes or purifies it. You don't purify the person, place, or thing. You neutralize the energy you associate with that person, place, or thing. So the first stage of Ho'oponopono is the purification of that energy.
Now something wonderful happens. Not only does that energy get neutralized; it also gets released, so there's a brand new slate. Buddhists call it the Void. The final step is that you allow the Divinity to come in and fill the void with light.
To do Ho'oponopono, you don't have to know what the problem or error is. All you have to do is notice any problem you are experiencing physically, mentally, emotionally, whatever. Once you notice, your responsibility is to immediately begin to clean, to say, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me."
Cat: So the true job of the intellect is not to solve problems, but to ask for forgiveness.
Ihaleakala: Yes. My job here on earth is twofold. My job is first of all to make amends. My second job is to awaken people who might be asleep. Almost everyone is asleep! The only way I can awaken them is to work on myself. Our interview is an example. For weeks before our appointment today, I've been doing the clearing work, so when you and I meet, it's like two pools of water coming together. They move through and they go. That's all.
Cat: In ten years of doing interviews, this is the only one I didn't prepare for. Every time I checked in, my Unihipili said that I should just come and be with you. My intellect went nuts trying to convince me that I should prepare, but I didn't.
Ihaleakala: Good for you! The Unihipili can be really fun. One day I was coming down the highway in Hawaii. When I started to head toward the usual off-ramp, I heard my Unihipili say in a singing voice, "I wouldn't go down there if I were you." I thought, "But I always go there." Then when we got closer, about fifty yards away, I heard, "Hello! I wouldn't go down there if I were you!" Second chance. "But we always go down there!"
Now I'm talking out loud and people in cars around me are looking at me like I'm crazy. About 25 yards away, I hear a loud, "I wouldn't go down there if I were you!" I went down there, and I sat for two and a half hours. There was a huge accident. Couldn't move back, couldn't move forward. Finally, I heard my Unihipili say, "Told you!" Then it wouldn't talk to me for weeks! I mean, why talk to me if I wasn't going to listen?
I remember one time when I was going to be on television to talk about Ho'oponopono. My children heard about it and they said, "Dad, we heard you are going to be on TV. Make sure your socks match!" They didn't care what I said. They just cared that my socks matched. See how children know the important things in life?
________________________________________
This interview was originally published by The New Times in September 1997.
For more information about Ho'oponopono or to contact Ihaleakala Hew Len, Ph.D., please visit http://www.hooponoponotheamericas.org.
After listening to Republicans denounce "empathy" ad nauseum lately, I'm reminded of the Course in Miracles definition: "True empathy does not join in suffering." This practice of ho'oponopono does not join in suffering. It acknowledges suffering and forgives oneself for judging it; it provides comfort in whatever form it's asked for. And works to heal one's own mind about the sufferer. (I hasten to add: This does not in any way mean to take responsibility to make the sufferer change in any way, to suffer less, to get well, to not die...we can't know what that person's life path might require of her.)
The Republican definition would decry empathy as soft-headed. Maybe a "soft head" is what we need nowadays--less judgment, remembering we don't really know what anything means.
A recent poll revealed the following, when asked Do you think empathy is an important characteristic for a Supreme Court Justice to possess or not?
Yes No
18-29 63 17
30-44 47 34
45-59 55 26
60+ 46 35
White 41 39
Black 81 4
Latino 79 4
Other 79 5
Men 48 34
Women 56 24
Dem 73 12
GOP 18 56
Ind 54 28
There's a reason the Republicans are sinking fast.
Now I have to heal my mind about that remark. Sigh.
Judy
If you want to solve a problem, no matter what kind of problem, work on yourself.
—Ihaleakala Hew Len
100% Responsibility and the Promise of a Hot Fudge Sundae
An Interview with Ihaleakala Hew Len
By Cat Saunders
How do you thank someone who has helped to set you free? How do you thank a man whose gentle spirit and zinger statements have forever altered the course of your life? Ihaleakala Hew Len is such a man for me. Like a soul brother who shows up unexpectedly in an hour of need, Ihaleakala came into my life in March of 1985, during a time of massive change for me. I met him during a training called "Self I-Dentity Through Ho'oponopono," which he facilitated along with the late Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona, a native Hawaiian kahuna ("keeper of the secret").
For me, Ihaleakala and Morrnah are part of the rhythm of life. Though I love them both dearly, I don't really dwell on thoughts of them as people, yet their influence is always there for me, beating a steady pulse like African drums in the night. Recently, I had the honor of being asked to interview Ihaleakala by The Foundation of I, Inc. (Freedom of the Cosmos), an organization founded by Morrnah. It was an even greater honor to learn that he would be coming from his home in Hawaii to meet with me personally.
Dr. Ihaleakala S. Hew Len is the foundation's president and administrator. Together with Morrnah, Ihaleakala has worked with thousands of people over the years, including groups at the United Nations, UNESCO (United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization), International Human Unity Conference on World Peace, World Peace Conference, Traditional Indian Medicine Conference, Healers for Peace in Europe, and the Hawaii State Teachers Association. He also has extensive experience working with developmentally disabled people and with the criminally mentally ill and their families. In all his work as an educator, the Ho'oponopono process supports and permeates every breath of his efforts.
Simply put, Ho'oponopono means, "to make right," or "to rectify an error." According to the ancient Hawaiians, error arises from thoughts that are tainted by painful memories from the past. Ho'oponopono offers a way to release the energy of these painful thoughts, or errors, which cause imbalance and disease.
Along with the updated Ho'oponopono process, Morrnah was guided to include the three parts of the self, which are the key to Self I-Dentity. These three parts — which exist in every molecule of reality — are called the Unihipili (child/subconscious), the Uhane (mother/conscious), and the Aumakua (father/superconscious). When this "inner family" is in alignment, a person is in rhythm with the Divinity. With this balance, life begins to flow. Thus, Ho'oponopono helps restore balance in the individual first, and then in all of creation.
By introducing me to this three-part system, along with the most powerful forgiveness process I know (Ho'oponopono), Ihaleakala and Morrnah taught me this: the best way to bring healing to every part of my life — and to the entire universe — is to take 100% responsibility and work on myself. In addition, they taught the simple wisdom of total self-care. As Ihaleakala said in a thank-you note after our interview: "You take good care of yourself. If you do, all will be beneficiaries."
Once, Ihaleakala left for an entire afternoon in the middle of a training I was taking, because his Unihipili (child/subconscious) told him to go to his hotel and take a long nap. Of course, he was responsible about leaving, and Morrnah was there to teach. Even still, his exit made a lasting impression on me. For someone like me, raised in a family and culture that admonished me to put others first, Ihaleakala's actions astounded and delighted me. He got his nap, and I got an unforgettable lesson in self-care.
Cat: Ihaleakala, when I met you in 1985, I'd just started private practice after working as a counselor in agencies for four years. I remember you said, "All therapy is a form of manipulation." I thought, "Jeez! What am I supposed to do now?" I knew you were right, so I almost quit! Obviously, I didn't, but that statement completely changed the way I work with people.
Ihaleakala: Manipulation happens when I (as a therapist) come from the idea that you are ill and I am going to work on you. On the other hand, it's not manipulation if I realize that you are coming to me to give me a chance to look at what's going on in me. There's a big difference.
If therapy is about your belief that you're there to save the other person, heal the other person, or direct the other person, then the information you bring will come out of the intellect, the conscious mind. But the intellect has no real understanding of problems and how to approach them. The intellect is so picayunish is its way of solving problems! It doesn't realize that when a problem is solved by transmutation — by using Ho'oponopono or related processes — then the problem and everything related to it is solved, even at microscopic levels and back to the beginning of time.
So first of all, I think the most important question to ask is, "What is a problem?" If you ask people this, there's no clarity. Because there's no clarity, they make up some way of solving the problem…
Cat: … as if the problem is "out there."
Ihaleakala: Yes. For example, the other day I got a call from the daughter of a woman who is 92. She said, "My mother's had these severe hip pains for several weeks." While she's talking to me, I'm asking this question of the Divinity, "What is going on in me that I have caused that woman's pain?" And then I ask, "How is it that I can rectify that problem within me?" The answers to these questions come, and I do whatever I'm told.
Maybe a week later the woman calls me and says, "My mother's feeling better now!" This doesn't mean the problem won't recur, because there are often multiple causes for what appears to be the same problem.
Cat: I have a lot of recurring illness and chronic pain. I work with it all the time, using Ho'oponopono and other clearing processes to make amends for all the pain I've caused since the beginning of time.
Ihaleakala: Yes. The idea being that people like us are in the healing professions because we have caused a lot of pain.
Cat: Big time!
Ihaleakala: How wonderful to know that, and to have people pay us for having caused them their problems!
I said this to a woman in New York, and she said, "God, if only they knew!" But you see, nobody knows. Psychologists, psychiatrists, they keep thinking that they're there to help heal the other person.
So if someone like you comes to me, I say to the Divinity, "Please, whatever is going on in me that I have caused this pain in Cat, tell me how I can rectify it." And I will apply whatever information I'm given indefinitely, until your pain is gone or until you ask me to stop. It's not so much the effect that is important as the getting to the problem. That's the key.
Cat: You don't focus on the outcome, because we're not in charge of that.
Ihaleakala: Right. We can only petition.
Cat: We also don't know when a particular pain or illness will shift.
Ihaleakala: Yes. Say a woman has been taking an herb that was suggested for her, and it's not working. Again, the question is "What's going on in me that this woman is experiencing this herb not working for her?" I would work on that. I would keep cleaning, keep my mouth closed, and allow the process of transmutation to take place. As soon as you engage the intellect, the process stops. The thing to remember when some kind of healing doesn't seem to be working is this: there may be multiple errors — multiple problems or painful memories that are causing the pain. We know nothing! Only the Divinity knows what's really going on.
I gave a presentation out in Dallas last month, and I spoke with this woman, a Reiki master. I said, "Let me ask you a question. When somebody comes to you with a problem, where is that problem?" She looked puzzled when I said, "You're the one who caused the problem, so your client is going to pay you to heal your problem!" Nobody gets that.
Cat: 100% responsibility.
Ihaleakala: 100% knowing that you're the cause of the problem. 100% knowing that you have the responsibility, then, to rectify the error. Can you imagine if we all knew we are 100% responsible?
I made a deal with myself ten years ago that I would treat myself to a hot fudge sundae — so huge it would make me sick — if I could get through the day without having some judgment of someone. I've never been able to do it! I notice I catch myself more often, but I never get through a day.
So how do I get that across to people — that we are each 100% responsible for problems? If you want to solve a problem, no matter what kind of problem, work on yourself. If the problem is with another person, for example, just ask yourself, "What's going on in me that's causing this person to bug me?" People only show up in your life to bug you! If you know that, you can elevate any situation, and you can release there. It's simple: "I'm sorry for whatever's going on. Please forgive me."
Cat: You don't have to actually say that out loud to them, and you don't even have to understand the problem.
Ihaleakala: That's the beauty of this. You don't have to understand. It's like the Internet. You don't understand all this! You just go to the Divinity and you say, "Can we download?" and the Divinity downloads, and then you get the necessary information. But because we don't know who we are, we never download direct from the Light. We go outside.
I remember Morrnah used to say, "It's an inside job." If you want to be successful, it's an inside job. Work on yourself!
Cat: I know that 100% responsibility is the only thing that works, but I used to struggle with this stuff, because I'm an overly responsible caretaker type. When I heard you talking about 100% responsibility not just for myself, but for every situation and problem, I thought, "Whoa! This is crazy! I don't need anybody telling me to be even more responsible!" Yet the more I thought about it, the more I realized that there's a big difference between overly responsible caretaking, versus totally responsible self-care. One is about being a good little girl, and the other is about getting free.
I remember you talking about the years when you were a staff psychologist at Hawaii State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. You said that when you started working there, the ward for criminals was full of violence, and when you left four years later, there was none.
Ihaleakala: Basically, I took 100% responsibility. I just worked on myself.
Cat: You said that when you worked with the inmates, they wouldn't even be there with you.
Ihaleakala: Right. I would only go into the building to check the results. If they still looked depressed, then I'd work on myself some more.
Cat: Would you tell a story about using Ho'oponopono for so-called inanimate objects?
Ihaleakala: I was in an auditorium once getting ready to do a lecture, and I was talking to the chairs. I asked, "Is there anybody I've missed? Does anyone have a problem that I need to take care of?" One of the chairs said, "You know, there was a guy sitting on me today during a previous seminar who had financial problems, and now I just feel dead!" So I cleaned with that problem, and I could just see the chair straightening up. Then I heard, "Okay! I'm ready to handle the next guy!"
What I actually try to do is teach the room. I say to the room and everything in it, "Do you want to learn how to do Ho'oponopono? After all, I'm going to leave soon. Wouldn't it be nice if you could do this work for yourselves? Some say yes, some say no, and some say, "I'm too tired!"
Then I ask the Divinity, "If they say they would like to learn, how can I help them learn?" Most of the time, I get this: "Leave the blue book (Self I-Dentity Through Ho'oponopono) with them." So I just take the blue book out and leave it on one of the chairs or on a table while I'm talking. We don't give tables enough credit for being quiet and aware of what is going on!
Ho'oponopono is really very simple. For the ancient Hawaiians, all problems begin as thought. But having a thought is not the problem. So what's the problem? The problem is that all our thoughts are imbued with painful memories, memories of persons, places, or things.
The intellect working alone can't solve these problems, because the intellect only manages. Managing things is no way to solve problems. You want to let them go! When you do Ho'oponopono, what happens is that the Divinity takes the painful thought and neutralizes or purifies it. You don't purify the person, place, or thing. You neutralize the energy you associate with that person, place, or thing. So the first stage of Ho'oponopono is the purification of that energy.
Now something wonderful happens. Not only does that energy get neutralized; it also gets released, so there's a brand new slate. Buddhists call it the Void. The final step is that you allow the Divinity to come in and fill the void with light.
To do Ho'oponopono, you don't have to know what the problem or error is. All you have to do is notice any problem you are experiencing physically, mentally, emotionally, whatever. Once you notice, your responsibility is to immediately begin to clean, to say, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me."
Cat: So the true job of the intellect is not to solve problems, but to ask for forgiveness.
Ihaleakala: Yes. My job here on earth is twofold. My job is first of all to make amends. My second job is to awaken people who might be asleep. Almost everyone is asleep! The only way I can awaken them is to work on myself. Our interview is an example. For weeks before our appointment today, I've been doing the clearing work, so when you and I meet, it's like two pools of water coming together. They move through and they go. That's all.
Cat: In ten years of doing interviews, this is the only one I didn't prepare for. Every time I checked in, my Unihipili said that I should just come and be with you. My intellect went nuts trying to convince me that I should prepare, but I didn't.
Ihaleakala: Good for you! The Unihipili can be really fun. One day I was coming down the highway in Hawaii. When I started to head toward the usual off-ramp, I heard my Unihipili say in a singing voice, "I wouldn't go down there if I were you." I thought, "But I always go there." Then when we got closer, about fifty yards away, I heard, "Hello! I wouldn't go down there if I were you!" Second chance. "But we always go down there!"
Now I'm talking out loud and people in cars around me are looking at me like I'm crazy. About 25 yards away, I hear a loud, "I wouldn't go down there if I were you!" I went down there, and I sat for two and a half hours. There was a huge accident. Couldn't move back, couldn't move forward. Finally, I heard my Unihipili say, "Told you!" Then it wouldn't talk to me for weeks! I mean, why talk to me if I wasn't going to listen?
I remember one time when I was going to be on television to talk about Ho'oponopono. My children heard about it and they said, "Dad, we heard you are going to be on TV. Make sure your socks match!" They didn't care what I said. They just cared that my socks matched. See how children know the important things in life?
________________________________________
This interview was originally published by The New Times in September 1997.
For more information about Ho'oponopono or to contact Ihaleakala Hew Len, Ph.D., please visit http://www.hooponoponotheamericas.org.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Don't Talk, Don't Go
A friend reminded me today of a lesson that has remained with him for the 14 years since I told this story. It's worth repeating. When my brother was in his last days with melanoma, he struggled to stay alive and comfortable, while maintaining he was "going to get well." Not that he believed it, but he wanted us to. One morning he called early because his family was going to be gone for the day and since he lived in the mountains in a remote place, he was nervous about being alone that day. I'd been taking him to treatments, doctor appointments, therapy, every day during the week for quite some time, so this was the first full day with nothing scheduled. He asked me to come.
I drove up to the mountain, feeling like Mother Theresa (fantasizing) and imagining that we'd get to have some quality time and conversation about how things were developing with him. I could offer him wise counsel and comfort. But when I got there all he wanted was Cream of Wheat. And then, the newspaper. When I settled in with some needlework and then tried to initiate a meaningful conversation, he pushed his reading glasses down on his nose, gave me a fierce look over their tops, and said: "Judy. Don't talk. And don't go."
Tim read the whole paper cover to cover, even the ads, had a little lunch, took a long nap, watched Oprah, and finally it was time to pick up his girls at the schoolbus stop. I was free to go.
It was a lovely, quiet day, and a lesson I've not forgotten. Just being there was the gift. I didn't need to add anything more meaningful than that.
I drove up to the mountain, feeling like Mother Theresa (fantasizing) and imagining that we'd get to have some quality time and conversation about how things were developing with him. I could offer him wise counsel and comfort. But when I got there all he wanted was Cream of Wheat. And then, the newspaper. When I settled in with some needlework and then tried to initiate a meaningful conversation, he pushed his reading glasses down on his nose, gave me a fierce look over their tops, and said: "Judy. Don't talk. And don't go."
Tim read the whole paper cover to cover, even the ads, had a little lunch, took a long nap, watched Oprah, and finally it was time to pick up his girls at the schoolbus stop. I was free to go.
It was a lovely, quiet day, and a lesson I've not forgotten. Just being there was the gift. I didn't need to add anything more meaningful than that.
Recovering
It's been a couple of months since I've visited here--busy months. I tested positive for the BRCA-2 gene, and thus began a round of new procedures. It is the source of breast , ovarian , colon, stomach, pancreas, and prostate cancer and melanoma. My sister has Stage 4 breast cancer now, brother died of melanoma, other brother had prostate cancer. Only one sister is free, and thus probably negative. My kids each have a 50-50 chance of testing positive, and if they do, each of their kids the same odds. Not a feel-good legacy. My colonoscopy revealed only a single small adenoma, easily removed, with followup every three years from now on (colon cancers are slow growing). I had my ovaries removed last week, because ovarian cancer is very hard to detect until it's too late, and it moves quickly. They looked good, but because of all the abdominal surgeries I've had, the surgery was another full-on abdominal, with the resultant recovery issues. I'm doing well. Considering.
My own three children, all in late-40s, 50, have had no problems, which is a really good sign. Oh, if only I could be "the one" to have it all so they don't have to go through it, nor any of their children--some of whom are adults and in their childbearing years. I've had six breast cancers now, before finally having both breasts removed entirely. (Not my choice--I'd have done it 30 years ago if the doctors had been willing. Didn't know then what my rights as a patient were.)
So much for the health update. It does now feel like the first week of the rest of my life, after the last year of diagnosis, surgery, chemo, many staph infections, immune system breakdown, life interruptions constantly, and finally peace--just in time for the BRCA gene to kick it all off again. I'm going to my family reunion on the gene side of the family the end of the month, and will let it be known--quietly--that anyone who wants to talk about the implications of the family BRCA gene should come and see me. It's mind-boggling to me (but understandable, I guess) that so many, including my two sisters, don't want to know a thing about it. Barely, even my own status. My concern for others who don't want to know if they have the gene is ovarian cancer, which is so hard to detect, but there are ways to screen for it--certainly not routine or easy, but I would think necessary. And there's always removal. Same with breasts. Lots of screening options, and finally, removal as an option. But knowing one has the gene means vigilance about screening--beyond mammograms, young women should have ultrasounds and/or MRIs at least annually, if not more frequently. My last one was "fast-growing" and they judge it went from stage zero to stage two in eight months. There was also one in the other breast, stage zero. Who wants that worry constantly?!!
My own three children, all in late-40s, 50, have had no problems, which is a really good sign. Oh, if only I could be "the one" to have it all so they don't have to go through it, nor any of their children--some of whom are adults and in their childbearing years. I've had six breast cancers now, before finally having both breasts removed entirely. (Not my choice--I'd have done it 30 years ago if the doctors had been willing. Didn't know then what my rights as a patient were.)
So much for the health update. It does now feel like the first week of the rest of my life, after the last year of diagnosis, surgery, chemo, many staph infections, immune system breakdown, life interruptions constantly, and finally peace--just in time for the BRCA gene to kick it all off again. I'm going to my family reunion on the gene side of the family the end of the month, and will let it be known--quietly--that anyone who wants to talk about the implications of the family BRCA gene should come and see me. It's mind-boggling to me (but understandable, I guess) that so many, including my two sisters, don't want to know a thing about it. Barely, even my own status. My concern for others who don't want to know if they have the gene is ovarian cancer, which is so hard to detect, but there are ways to screen for it--certainly not routine or easy, but I would think necessary. And there's always removal. Same with breasts. Lots of screening options, and finally, removal as an option. But knowing one has the gene means vigilance about screening--beyond mammograms, young women should have ultrasounds and/or MRIs at least annually, if not more frequently. My last one was "fast-growing" and they judge it went from stage zero to stage two in eight months. There was also one in the other breast, stage zero. Who wants that worry constantly?!!
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